you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face
when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool
when ur texting a boy and he wants to play the question game
the best text I’ve ever received (via battleagainsttheworld)
I don’t think you understand that you can literally rip my heart out and stomp on it and I’ll apologize for getting your shoes dirty
|me:||mom I need a new bottle of toothpaste|
|mom:||finish the one you have sweetie|
|mom:||*squeezes the bottle and out comes extra toothpaste, Henry the VIII, michael jackson's corpse, the missing malaysian airplane, and 4 prisoner refugees*|
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
Don’t tell them
HERE IT IS. THIS IS IT. MY FAVORITE QUOTE FROM COMMUNITY. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
i shouldn’t have laughed as much as i did